Assalaamu alaikum,
It has been a while! I’ve missed you all so…so…much. I promised myself….that…I wouldn’t….cry….hmmmm, let’s move on.
Some updates:
- School has been super busy…and we’re done….done, done. As in graduated from COLLEGE! YAHOOO (alhemdulilah)!
- Taqee has been pitching our ideas to some publications and 2 loved the pitch, check out the stories
- Minnesota Daily (the Univ of Minnesota’s paper…note that they labeled Khaled El-Sawaf as Rommy Ahmed in the picture and spelt his name wrong in the article…grrrrr!): http://www.mndaily.com/articles/2007/02/22/70885
- Star Tribune ( Minneapolis Newpaper): http://www.startribune.com/614/story/1007141.html
- Want to write a story about us in a newsletter or paper, just email me at aziz@muslimtees.com, thanks in advance!
- HELP US! FORWARD THESE STORIES TO ANY MUSLIM EMAIL LISTS YOU ARE A PART OF, jazaak Allah khair!!!
- Khaled “Ledo” El-Sawaf joined MT, he’s our juice, a great addition, you’ll see and hear more about him
- Nora Alfaham also joined MT, she’s our first sister on board she’s super ambitious and very intelligent – mashAllah
- Want to be friends? Thank Ledo for our myspace account: www.myspace.com/muslimtees
- Long sleeved shirts are still highly debated….we got an order being made and should be within the next week.
Now, on to the post.
You ever get frustrated by working with Muslims? Ever get burnt out working with people? With Muslim people?
Join the club.
People can be very frustrating to work with, especially when it is volunteer or dawah work. You can probably recall several instances during your MSA (Muslim Student Association) life where someone, or “some ones”, have dropped the ball leaving you with the mess.
And you ever notice that when being presented with that mess people start calling you brother or sister. “Uhhh sister, sister. I know you have a big test but we really need you to write that grant and submit it in eight minutes. Yes, I know, I told you that grant was due in two weeks…but sister think of the ajir!” Ok, that may have been a stretch. But that is what Muslims will do: 1) call you brother or sister and 2) remind you of the ajir.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all about brotherhood, sisterhood, and ajir. There’s nothing better. But we need to break free of this perpetual cycle of doing things at the last minute or putting the burden on other people. It is not befitting of a Muslim to act in such a manner. But this is a topic for another rant.
As people who are on top of our games (and you are on top of your game. rigggght?) we need to prepare ourselves for dealing with people who are not because they’re abundant in our community, I’m even one at times. So when you rely on brother x or sister y and they fail you – you really just set yourself up to be disappointed.
I know it sounds vague but when you rely on Allah, the only true constant, you will never be disappointed nor will you become burnt out. Allah is in control of everything while brother x or sister y is control of nothing in comparison.
Here’s a more practical approach to dealing with brother x and sister y after they’ve dropped the ball:
- Get your steam out. You’re probably going to be a little annoyed to say the least when you find out that brother x or sister y did what they did, or didn’t do for that matter. There are many ways to relieve yourself of some steam like working out, playing a video game, or reading a hadith.
- Forgive them. It is a rare instance when brother x and sister y actually intend to put in you in an unfortunate situation by not performing their roles. Do this after you’ve had time to cool down a bit and definitely before you have to see someone.
- Talk to them, alone. If this is a reoccurring situation then you should talk to brother x or sister y, alone. They can not go unchecked, that’s for sure, but make sure to talk to them alone so that they are not embarrassed. What do you say? Politely say how them dropping the ball affected you and suggest ways to better handle it in the future. Some examples would include general time management skills (buy them a planner), communication skills, or suggest to them scaling back their involvement to focus on a pressing manner. Whatever you do, make sure that you do not come across as scolding the person. Rather come off as trying to partner with that person as a peer finding a solution to a weakness. General naseehah rules apply.
If you want to do any time of volunteer work, you should expect working with characters like this. That doesn’t mean you have to accept it. This should be a motivating reminder but not one that makes ourselves feel better than others. Besides we occasionally drop the ball ourselves.
So trust in Allah and don’t get burnt out because if you cover brother and sister then your reward is much greater than your hassle:
Narrated Ibn ‘Umar : Allah’s Messenger said, ” A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim. So he should not oppress him nor should he hand him over to (his satan or to his self which is inclined to evil). Whoever fulfils the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfil his needs; whoever removes the troubles of his brother, Allah will remove one of his troubles on the Day of Resurrection; and whoever covers up the fault of a Muslim, Allah will cover up his fault on the Day of Resurrection.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
And Allah knows best.
Salaam. Z.
